Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there who are not only facing the everyday challenges of motherhood, but are also navigating the often-difficult journey of parenting a child with mental health issues. This Mother’s Day, take some time to celebrate YOU and all that you do for your family.
We know that no two families are the same and that the challenges you face are unique. Despite this, we want to remind you that your love and care for your children is something to be recognized and celebrated. Mother’s Day is a time for you to be appreciated for the hard work of parenting, especially in the midst of your family’s struggles.
So, if you’re looking for ways to celebrate this special day, here are some suggestions for you.
1. Start with self-care.
Taking care of your own mental health is essential. If you need to take a break, take it. Don't feel guilty about taking some time for yourself - it will help make sure you're able to give your best to your family. Find something that fills your cup and do it, whether it’s a relaxing bubble bath, a yoga class, a walk in the park, or just a few uninterrupted moments of peace and quiet. Remember: self-care is not selfish, it’s essential, especially when you are taking care of others.
2. Do something special with your child who struggles with mental health challenges.
It can be as simple as ordering a special meal or baking a batch of cookies together. It doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. The important part is that it’s something special that you can do together. Let go of the Hallmark-like expectations and make this holiday fit your unique family situation.
3. If you have other children, do something special with each one.
Your child with mental health challenges likely requires more of your time and attention due to their special needs - this is natural and expected so let go of any “mom guilt” you may have about this reality. That being said, Mother’s Day offers an opportunity to carve out special time with your other child(ren). Give yourself the gift of focused time with each of your children, recognizing that how nice it is to have this quality time together while also acknowledging their uniqueness and how they enrich you and your life.
4. Embrace non-traditional ways of enjoying family time.
If your child with mental health challenges is not able to participate in a traditional Mother’s Day activity (like a brunch at a fancy restaurant or a big family gathering) you can still make it a special day. Find ways to celebrate Mother’s Day that work for your family, without creating undue stress or unrealistic expectations for your child… and you.
5. Connect with friends and family members who “get it”.
Spend some quality time with your partner and other family members who understand your unique situation and offer emotional support and encouragement. These are people who see you and truly understand the incredible job you are doing as a mother under challenging circumstances. Talk with them about the ups and downs of parenting a child with mental health challenges and be open to their supportive feedback.
6. Embrace gratitude.
In spite of your child’s struggles with mental health issues and the inevitable challenging situations you face, you have so much to be grateful for in your life. Take some time to reflect on your life with an attitude of gratitude, including gratitude for your family and all the important lessons you are learning from the challenges you face. It always feels good to identify and express gratitude to yourself and those in your life who are an unending source of love and support.
7. Remember to laugh and have fun!
Mother's Day is a special time to celebrate you and all of the unique aspects of your family. Plan some activities that allow you to truly enjoy each other's company and laugh together, whether watching a funny movie, playing a game, or telling silly jokes. Find special ways to have fun while making memories that will last a lifetime.
No matter what Mother’s Day looks like for you this year, be sure take the time to appreciate yourself and all that you do for your family. You are an amazing mom and you deserve to be celebrated - your love and strength make all the difference.
If you are a mom who is looking for some additional support for you or your child, Farmington Valley Counseling Center can help. We offer individual and group counseling services, along with a variety of parent education events throughout the year. Call (860) 255-4017 to learn more or to schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation with one of our licensed therapists today. WE’RE HERE TO HELP.
Marla Dakin, LCSW helps children, adolescents, young adults and parents who are struggling with anxiety and other mental health challenges. She is especially passionate about helping parents learn skills and strategies to help their children overcome worries and fears so they can live full, happy lives. Marla has over 20 years experience working in the schools as a school social worker and in her private practice, Farmington Valley Counseling Center, in Avon, CT, and she is mom to two young adults herself. In addition to her work in the therapy office, Marla offers a variety of online workshops and webinars for parents. Follow Marla on Instagram @marladakin and join her private Facebook group for parents “LIVING IT TOGETHER” to stay informed about upcoming events, offerings and speaking engagements.
