Parenting is a wild ride on its own, but when your child is frequently complaining of headaches, tummy troubles, or fatigue, it’s easy to go into full-blown detective mode. Is it anxiety? A stomach bug? A hidden allergy? Or—let’s be real—could it be a sudden case of “I-don’t-want-to-go-to-school-itis?”

When your child is dealing with anxiety, their body might be ringing alarm bells in the form of physical symptoms. It’s confusing, frustrating, and often leaves you wondering whether to call the pediatrician or break out the emotional support snacks. But don’t worry—I’ve got you covered! Here are five practical (and sanity-saving) ways to help you navigate the anxiety vs. illness dilemma.

1. Get to Know Anxiety’s Sneaky Symptoms

Anxiety isn’t just a feeling—it’s a full-body experience. Kids with anxiety often complain about headaches, stomach aches, dizziness, or just feeling “off” without an obvious medical cause. If these symptoms tend to pop up before school, social events, or big transitions (hello, Monday mornings!), there’s a good chance anxiety is the culprit.

One of the biggest clues? If your child’s symptoms mysteriously disappear when they’re doing something they enjoy (somehow, they feel just fine at a birthday party but are “too sick” for math class), anxiety might be at play.

2. Look Beyond the Physical Complaints

Anxiety doesn’t just show up in aches and pains—it also brings along a whole entourage of behavioral red flags. Watch for changes in appetite, disrupted sleep, mood swings, excessive worry about small things, or a sudden withdrawal from activities they used to love.

I’ve seen time and time again that when parents create a safe space for open conversations, kids start to feel seen, heard, and—most importantly—understood. Instead of saying, “You’re fine, just go to school,” try: “I’ve noticed you get headaches before school. Can you tell me what’s on your mind?” That small shift makes a big difference.

3. Create a Calm & Predictable Routine

Anxiety loves chaos, so one of the best ways to counter it is by offering your child a predictable routine. Structure helps kids feel safe, which in turn reduces their overall anxiety.

Try incorporating simple calming activities into your daily routine—like deep breathing before bed or a mindfulness moment in the morning. And if you can, make it a family thing! (Because let’s be honest, we all could use a little more deep breathing in our lives.)

4. Talk It Out Without Overloading the Pressure

If you suspect anxiety is playing a role in your child’s symptoms, gently open the door to conversation. Keep it light and pressure-free. Saying “I’ve noticed you’ve been having a lot of stomach aches lately. Want to talk about what’s been going on?” invites them in without making them feel interrogated.

From my 25+ years as a therapist, I’ve seen firsthand how a calm, compassionate approach works wonders. When kids feel like they’re in a judgment-free zone, they’re far more likely to share what’s really going on.

5. Know When to Call in Reinforcements

Here’s the deal: If anxiety is interfering with your child’s daily life—school, friendships, sleep, or overall happiness—it’s time to get support. And that’s okay! You don’t have to figure this out alone.

At Farmington Valley Counseling Center, we specialize in helping families navigate anxiety together with our Family Forward™ Anxiety Treatment Program—a structured, effective, and evidence-based approach designed to help both you and your child feel more confident in managing anxiety. This program is built on my TAME™ (Talk, Affirm, Manage, Empower) Framework, and it’s helped countless families move from overwhelmed to empowered.

If you’re feeling unsure about what’s anxiety and what’s not (trust me, you’re not alone!), let’s chat. We offer a FREE 15-minute consultation to help you take the next best step for your child and your family. Give us a call today at (860) 255-4017, and let’s get you the answers—and support—you deserve.

Learn more about the FAMILY FORWARD ANXIETY TREATMENT PROGRAM

Because when it comes to anxiety, knowledge isn’t just power—it’s peace of mind. And that? That’s priceless.

MARLA DAKIN, LCSW, Founder and Clinical Director of Farmington Valley Counseling Center, is a licensed therapist with more than 25 years experience working with kids, teens, young adults and families in a variety of school settings and private practice. She is also a mom who’s experienced the challenges of teen anxiety firsthand. Marla is passionate about helping families navigate the challenges of mental health together. She developed the Family Forward™️ Anxiety Treatment Program, based on her TAME™️ (Talk, Affirm, Manage, Empower) framework to empower families with simple, easy-to-implement strategies to support one another in conquering anxiety and restoring peace at home. Marla also offers online coaching to moms of anxious teens and is available for keynote speaking engagements at schools, organizations, and other events that address mental health and parenting issues. Learn more at marladakin.com.

Remember: this post is for informational purposes only and may not be the best fit for you and your personal situation. It shall not be construed as medical advice. The information and education provided here is not intended or implied to supplement or replace professional medical treatment, advice, and/or diagnosis. Always check with your own physician or medical professional before trying or implementing any information read here.