The "Quarter-Life Crisis": Why Your Young Adult Is Struggling - And How You Can Help

/ Farmington Valley Counseling Center/

“I feel like I’m supposed to have my life together, but I have no idea what I’m doing.”

If you’ve heard something like this from your young adult recently, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Whether they’re fresh out of college, struggling to land a job, or feeling overwhelmed by adulthood, this stage of life can feel paralyzing.

As a parent, it’s incredibly tough to watch. You spent years supporting your child through school, extracurriculars, and college applications—only to see them now feeling lost, anxious, and stuck. Maybe they’ve moved back home (which wasn’t part of their plan… or yours), or they’re questioning everything—career choices, relationships, even their own self-worth.

This struggle can be called a quarter-life crisis—a period of self-doubt, anxiety, and uncertainty that many young adults experience in their 20s and early 30s. And while it can be frustrating and painful, it’s also a normal part of growing into independence.

What Does a Quarter-Life Crisis Look Like?

Your young adult may be saying things like:

  • “I feel like I’m falling behind everyone else.”

  • “I don’t know what I want to do with my life.”

  • “What if I never find a job I actually like?”

  • I should be able to handle this, but I just feel stuck.”

They may be

  • Anxious about job hunting and financial independence

  • Struggling with self-doubt or imposter syndrome at work

  • Feeling lost in friendships or romantic relationships

  • Experiencing depression after finishing school and losing structure

  • Moving back home and feeling like a failure

If any of these resonate with you, know that these feelings and experiences are all valid—and temporary. With the right tools and support, you and your child can move through this phase with confidence.

How Parents Can Help (Without Overstepping)

1. Listen First, Advise Second

It’s tempting to jump in with solutions, but your young adult likely needs to feel heard before they can hear you. Instead of, “You should just apply to more jobs,” try, “That sounds frustrating—what’s been the hardest part?”, or “I know this is challenging for you. Anything I can do to help?”

2. Normalize Their Experience

Many young adults feel like they’re the only ones struggling. Remind them that this phase is temporary, and they are not alone. Share stories of your own uncertainty at their age, if relevant. Normalize the struggle in a supportive, empathetic way.

3. Encourage Small Steps

Big life decisions feel overwhelming—so start small. Help them break things down: Apply to one job today. Reach out to a mentor. Call a friend. Try therapy. Progress happens step by step. Encourage them (and YOU) to approach things with a positive mindset and be patient with the process, knowing it takes time.

4. Set Boundaries If They’ve Moved Back Home

If your young adult is living at home, it’s OK to set expectations—for both your sake and theirs. Talk about responsibilities, financial contributions (if possible), house rules, and plans for the future in a way that feels supportive, not suffocating. Be proactive and have these conversations before conflicts arise, whenever possible. Reflect after challenging situations, when everyone is in a calm, collected place. Remember, this is NOT what anyone had in mind and you’re all doing your best.

5. Get Support—For Them & For You

Therapy can be life-changing for young adults struggling with anxiety, depression, or career uncertainty. But parents need support, too—especially if this stage is creating stress or tension at home. Know that there is a lot to process and everyone can benefit from expert guidance, skill building and some time to consider a fresh perspective as support your young adult in figuring out their next steps in what is often a challenging chapter.

FVCC Is Here to Help

At Farmington Valley Counseling Center, we specialize in helping young adults navigate anxiety, life transitions, and career uncertainty. We also provide support for parents who are struggling with how to help their young adult without overstepping and while prioritizing your own mental health and well-being.

You don’t have to figure this out alone. Call today (860) 255-4017 for a FREE 15-minute consultation and let’s find the right support for you and your young adult.

And remember, your young adult isn’t failing—they’re finding their way. They are lucky to have you by their side, supporting them every step of the way.

MARLA DAKIN, LCSW, Founder and Clinical Director of Farmington Valley Counseling Center, is a licensed therapist with more than 25 years experience working with kids, teens, young adults and families in a variety of school settings and private practice. She is also a mom who’s experienced the challenges of teen anxiety firsthand. Marla is passionate about helping families navigate the challenges of mental health together. She developed the Family Forward™️ Anxiety Treatment Program, based on her TAME™️ (Talk, Affirm, Manage, Empower) framework to empower families with simple, easy-to-implement strategies to support one another in conquering anxiety and restoring peace at home. Marla also offers online coaching to moms of anxious teens and is available for keynote speaking engagements at schools, organizations, and other events that address mental health and parenting issues. Learn more at marladakin.com.

Please note: this post is for informational purposes only and may not be the best fit for you and your personal situation. It shall not be construed as medical advice. The information and education provided here is not intended or implied to supplement or replace professional medical treatment, advice, and/or diagnosis. Always check with your own physician or medical professional before trying or implementing any information read here.